falling petals
by rain aoi ame
Summary: I stopped and looked at the sweetest gaze I have ever seen… and you, holding me… feeling your sweet touch beneath me… I realized I didn’t want to let go of the sentiments I had within me…feeling your touch was enough for me to be contented kno


Falling petals...  
  
By: rain  
  
I was walking down on this certain, familiar road when I paused, stopped for a moment to have a gaze with this tree, this Sakura tree. The leaves were of somewhat a petite pastel than before and the way it floated with the wind was like of a dying candle, dancing alone, the pink-petaled flowers were falling...  
  
For it was with this same tree where I met someone...this similar spot right to where I'm standing. I was running to catch my early class for my dragon- beast teacher when I fell down with my hurriedness when you were walking so melancholy like praying and I bumped you simply because I wasn't looking, and neither were you.  
  
I looked up as your breath said sorry, you didn't speak but I felt something inside you that hurts so much like a throbbing burden in your heart. You picked me up and realized something was wrong with you, your eyes were crying... crying like a child...your face filled with lucid tears as my own voice failed to speak. You bowed your head and strongly forced your mouth to utter sorry but I don't need that. It's okay; for I didn't know what reason, I suddenly wanted to cry when I saw your eyes...  
  
Days passed and I went to that same place everyday, hopefully, to see that one guy who I bumped with such endearing sweet eyes, but it was such a total idiotic idea to dream for a guy whom I accidentally met, but just then as I was turning to go, a silhouette was on my back, and there, behind me, was you...  
  
Your eyes were different now and my heart was so revived. We sat next to the bench beneath the tree as the sun shone its wonderful, enjoying rays.  
  
"Gomen... for that day..."  
  
You whispered while bowing  
  
"Iie... I should be sorry..."  
  
You looked at me and smiled and my lips formed a curve that was unexpected.  
  
"I'm Tasuki..."  
  
"I'm Keika." I smiled abruptly  
  
And then with that last word up until now, we talked for hours, our days were completed in there, just below this tree sitting close together...never getting tired of what we were doing...sharing our lives ...  
  
"Keika, that day...when you saw me...crying...was the day when my fiancé...died...."  
  
I choked, I couldn't speak and in my eyes, tears dashed thru. My hands covering my mouth.  
  
"Go...gome..."  
  
You stopped me by wiping my tears.  
  
"Iie... I should be sorry, I made you cry...don't cry, please..."  
  
You sighed as I saw your fiery eyes said with fear and compassionate care. I saw it in his deep, mysterious auburn pools; I always understood everything reflected in those perfect stares...  
  
So that's why... I didn't know...it hurted to see him in pain, even just to think that he is crying, hurts like someone died...hurting me more than him...I didn't understand why...  
  
The next day you came again, as the sun sets it's first ray on the cherry, dazzling, lively tree and it grew to hit me that I was...falling for you...is it possible?... yes, it is. Anyone who would just have one gaze at you, would surely like you, and anyone who would share even just one day with you would surely love you...Tasuki...  
  
But I know I should end my illusion. I can't because I'm...scared, scared that you might, I know you still love her so deeply that no one, particularly me can ever replace your first love in your heart. That thought killed me but each time I hear you laugh, it makes my soul alive. I hid my insecurities, making a border between my feelings and my body, between my actions and my heart... I don't want you to see or even think that I do, care a lot for you... I just don't want to...but you know what, my life would never be this cherished if you didn't come that day...  
  
Selfishness conquered my heart. Dark, conceited pain enguled me because fooling my heart isn't easy as what I thought it was.  
  
"Tasuki..."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
You looked at me.  
  
"A...ano...I... I ... I really...think that you're a perfect man! And I think I...all those times that we had shared... I mean, Tasuki, I fell in love with you Tasuki!"  
  
It just blurted out like that from my heart like pure wind from the dancing clouds, like mellow rain from heaven, like leaves dropping out from a tree...  
  
You glared at me in awe and looked directly thru your eyes, and for the first time, I couldn't understand what the glow in those auburn eyes mean...  
  
There was a different spark of joy and sadness...what is it that you feel?  
  
You bowed your head and didn't say anything...  
  
And it was all to make myself stand and run...run away...so far away from you...my first love...I rushed through like a child afraid of something, like a miserable soul hiding, trying to escape pain and as my eyes started to descend my aching apprehension I wanted to just run, run and run... I couldn't stop shedding tears and even as my legs hurted what responded was only my tears, I caught myself falling down on my feet...  
  
I didn't go the next day. And the next... it hurted like almost taking away my own life, like almost striving my own breath and stabbing my own heart... I cried, as my tears were the only one who shared with me the whole, cold night...  
  
As I remember, that solitary day... At the very same time before the setting sun departs down into the white- colored horizon,  
  
"It's so peaceful and relaxing don't you think Tasu, look! I really love the picture of this very beautiful sunset neh?" it's so astonishing how you let me call you out of this world nicknames...  
  
"Not as beautiful as you..."  
  
"Huh?" I asked  
  
"Keika"  
  
"Hai?" I answered still gazing at the sun and its sad rays departs slowly...  
  
"Do you believe that in every sunrise, there is always a sunset, a new day to tell you your dreams and inspire you to walk on until you reached them?..."  
  
You became so silent and I just didn't think you would say something as deep as that; it made me pause and I can feel the words dig inside me...  
  
"I do...I believe... I believe in fate, in destiny, in soul mates... now. Before all I thought was how to fix everything in order, do this and do that but now..." I continued.  
  
"What's your dream?" I asked "Me, I want to reach the stars hehe, no just kidding, I will become as great as my mother, have I told you she's a very good cook?" I smile as I look at his innocent face.  
  
"Ten times already..." he smiled at me.  
  
"So, what's your dream? Ne Tasu?"  
  
It took him a while before he finally answered and it didn't seem he has thought of it for long, what really showed was that he was doubting if he would say it or not.  
  
"Come on silent guy!" I teased  
  
"Ah, you won't tell?! You won't tell?? Ahh..." I playfully tried to make him laugh because every time I try, I win success, but it was different today, but still, I continued to make him laugh, hopefully trying to see those immaculate smile of his.  
  
"Eeeeee, silent-quiet-silent-"  
  
"This..." he murmured.  
  
"Ha..." I kept quiet and I looked at the setting picture again. As by surprise, an odd phenomena started to fall down from the heavens, drizzling... sweet, simple drops blissfully thrilled to fall...  
  
"Ai! Ai! Let's go home now Tasu!" I stood up ready to run "Ei! Come on, let's hurry now or we'll get sick!" I said but you held my hand and we found ourselves under the secure shade of the tree, the leaves were branching out far that's why below it, the calm waterfall wasn't able to touch the place. We were there, standing side by side, feeling your shoulders near mine and you said, "Little rain won't harm you... just stay here with me and everything is going to be alright..."  
  
I giggled when I asked you to bake, you smiled and you confessed to me that you can't cook as my heart was filled with laughter I found myself blush when I saw you staring... our bodies facing each other... my prince looking at me...so restrained and at the same time, so sad... the color of your eyes reflected something like a hidden twinge...when,  
  
You held my face...  
  
I stopped and looked at the sweetest gaze I have ever seen... and you, holding me... feeling your sweet touch beneath me... I realized I didn't want to let go of the sentiments I had within me...feeling your touch was enough for me to be contented knowing I can still hold you... near me...  
  
"You're so beautiful..."  
  
You uttered and the leaves with the tiny, floating petals smiled for me as I colored my whole face with bright red... I was speechless...  
  
"Tasu, you're making me blush..." I hid my eyes  
  
You smiled at me and melted my soul...  
  
I felt chilly, the weather made me shiver but I didn't want to go home, I simply just want to be near you like this... and in that moment of my life, time stood still for me as I felt arms wrapped around my body... It's the warmest feeling I have ever experienced... I could feel your heartbeat... and I told myself... How I want to be locked like this, in these wide arms of yours... feeling each thump of your heart... hearing you faintly breath in my ear. Oh God, please make it rain forever...  
  
As I cry another drop, I swallowed the pain of separation...  
  
And it has been like a century, looking at my side and finding you not with me... And not hearing your voice, not seeing your face that marked the soul of a very fine, young man who erased my burdens, who gave me the stars, who delivered me to the world... Not feeling the happiness each time your lips smile and makes me say to myself, what a lucky girl I must be for seeing the sweetest smile ever to be seen on earth...and in heaven...  
  
The 3rd day was like a burning flame that slowly shatters my heart and I wanted to scream and so I ran...running, not at all knowing where to go, never looking for a destination...just wanting to be with you, and hearing you say you're okay... It rained and as the tender water fairy washed everything here on dearly earth, little gentle drops wiping away everything except for one thing, my feelings...for a certain guy just below the tree that day.  
  
My body was saturated with cold, cold water, I could feel my skin tremble from the freezing mist. My hair was all soaking wet but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was to still run, far, far away and as of for purpose, my feet brought me to this place...  
  
And...  
  
I saw you, your whole body dripping from cogent, sallow drops of rain. You were standing, looking at the tree just that. You turned around and I found myself hugging you...and that was the only thing I ever needed to feel... in your secure, broad arms...  
  
"Keika..."  
  
"Mmn?" Your scent so engaging from the early mist of a masculine morning, my angel...  
  
"Please don't...don't go away from me like that, ever again..." your voice so soft and low  
  
"Promise...pro... "I cried as my heart found its embrace. An embrace that arrowed my heart. The arms I would embrace for the rest of my life...  
  
"Tasuki..." I look straight at his eyes  
  
"Keika..." he brushed the hair falling from my braid covering my eyes...  
  
"Those gorgeous eyes shouldn't be crying..."  
  
You make me smile again, as always I know, as this lifetime will go, I will be happy if you're by my side...  
  
"Keika, I have, I have... to tell you this..."  
  
"Anything", as I smiled up with tears  
  
"I'm...this will be the last...last time we..."  
  
Rain poured still, hearing only the poignant fervor of its sound.  
  
Drops of tears.  
  
"Last time we...will ..." he stopped as his eyes started to form tears  
  
The petals fell for us, engulfing two young people hugging, looking at each other's eyes  
  
Lips were sealed and my eyes melted in his gaze as little by little reality brought truth, letting me understand what he had just said and my heart forcing me not to listen...  
  
"Tasuki?" I felt my eyes getting heavy, afraid of the next words.  
  
"Please no, Keika. I don't want to see you cry..."  
  
"No...no...Tas...Tasu... onegai ..." I whispered thru his ear, pleaded him to tell me that he'll hold me till the end of time.  
  
"Iie! Why are you doing this?! Why do you want to leave me?! Why now when I'm... when I'm...  
  
loving you too much...."  
  
My voice trailing off into a weaker pitch.  
  
My heart tearing apart.  
  
Tears paced thru like waterfalls down to my cheeks and you - - -  
  
- - kissed me, kissed me so gracefully and passionately and your lips uttered goodbye and the friendly, mild breeze blew a dainty spirit into our hearts.  
  
That was the last day that I ever saw him again...--- as the rain didn't stop, we didn't stop there, drained from delightful drops from heaven as we stand in there, still intertwined with a kiss...  
  
And as this tree has witnessed our love story, I look up to its petals slowly falling down as I hold in my hand a portrait that they found next to him that day... a sketch of a face... a sketch of me...  
  
I found out that he had cancer. He knew that he would depart that's why...that's why he tried to control his heart...but that kiss...my ever, first kiss...was a magical power that he left with me strong enough to keep and treasure here inside me until I find him in my next life...  
  
Tasuki... ... I will wait for that next sunrise when I will see you again... I love you...forever and ever... 


End file.
